THE TERRIBLE TRUTH; my past, my iniquities, my confession

Hello wombedman!! It`s been a long while hey!

This is actually my first time publishing this year, yea yea I know but the Good news is that the Lord has been speaking and I have a lot to publish. Literally my journal is overflowing with the messages from God to his precious daughters.

 This blog had to come up first.

Honestly I am so nervous about this because I'm about to reveal the secrets of my past that nobody knew but God, my iniquities.

This is something that I tend to ignore and all of us do really ignore it but it is there, it exists and instead of being ignorant about it we can face it, not alone but with God.

The title of this blog is heavy I know but trust me its more heavy to me than it is to you.

This attacked me few years back and it recently attacked me again in terms of knowing it, understanding it and accepting it, this where God spoke to me that I should share it because as much as it was painful for it to actually replay in my mind and this time me having to focus and understand it oh yes it was the most difficult thing and I really felt unclean that`s how terrible sin is. This will definitely help someone out there especially women because this blog is for you and this is something that can destroy us, our relationships with one another as women.

INIQUITIES.

I am so scared at this point because I'm about to say it out, my iniquities, not all because I'll be typing for a long time if had to but the ones I was told to publish today are the ones that everyone needs to be aware of.. And this confession energy is still going to get deep in this blog, God is still going to strengthen me to share more things.

What is the meaning of iniquities? Let take a look at it.

"It is the immoral or grossly unfair behaviour" in this case it the internal behaviour we`re talking about "Sins that we`re not even aware of" up until the holy Spirit brings it to our attention just like he did to me.

Please know that I am healed from all the bondage.. It was a process I didn`t even know about but the Holy Spirit did it and I can see the results of his work in my life now."

Psalm 66:16-20 [KJV]

"Come and hear, all ye that fear God, and I will declare what he has done for my soul.

I cried unto him with my mouth, and he was extolled with my tongue.

If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me: But verily God has heard me he has attended to the voice of my prayer.

Blessed be God, which has not turned away my prayer nor his mercy from me."

These verses above are proof that God is a God of a second chance. Before I lay down my past of iniquity and some still attacking me I want to assure you with the verses I've quoted that God doesn't` t leave you in a condition where by you feel dirty and unclean because you`ve became aware of your iniquities, he will hear your prayers By the Holy Spirit through Jesus Christ for the word of God says He is the Way the Truth The Life and nobody comes to the Father accept through him.

2 years ago I was total different person than I am now, I grew up with my parents and my older sister so I was the youngest.. Growing up my mother didn`t want us to share clothes with other people or my peers because she was very cautious with what we can get from wearing other people's clothes not knowing what spirits attack them.

So I grew up with NOT WANTING to borrow someone clothes not because of my mom but I just didn`t want to and It came into my attention that I was jealous, I didn`t share what was mine and that`s an iniquity, something that I wasn`t aware of but it was bad in the sight of God. I was a giving person and still am in terms of giving away clothes, sharing food etc and I'm still that person, it came naturally but when it came to my personal things I was stingy.

I Lived with my friends on my first year and they are sisters.. They grew up sharing things because they`re the same age so sharing for them wasn`t something new, something hard and to me this was a new thing and I honestly hated sharing my personal things.

We all know that sharing is godly hey, therefore we must share.. Now giving/borrowing someone your item without having a willing heart that blessing doesn`t exist, its cancelled the moment your heart is harden.

The Holy Spirit brought all of my iniquities back for me to pay attention and to know that I'm sinning and he didn`t leave me in that condition of self-guilt but he preached the gospel to me that my sins are forgiven. My Friends has taught me to be a sharing person even in my personal stuff to the people closest to me like them and anyone whom I have a tight relationship with that I can share personal things with.. For the past 2 years I've been learning and the Holy Spirit has worked in me in having to borrow someone my things WITH A WILLING HEART and he is still helping, I am a changed person through the Holy spirit in Jesus Christ and I'm still changing because change is a process and remember that you can`t do it by yourself, only the Holy Spirit can Help you.

Now I'm sure you`re like "oh this is the terrible truth about herself she is talking about" Yes it is … It wasn`t the terrible truth up until the Holy Spirit ministered to me and enabled me to see how terrible and dirty my iniquities were.

Sins and Iniquities are terrible, they are red as scarlet but the word of says: "Come let us reason together , says the Lord; though your sins are like scarlet, they shall become like wool. [Isaiah 1:18].

See how disgusting sins are? No matter what they are but they are sins and unacceptable in the sight of the Lord in fact God can`t even look at sins but don`t you worry there is hope! That as disgusting as they are they will be wiped away.

The Bible says: "Confess, your sins/faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much" [James 5:16 KJV]

See this verse is so so difficult to apply in our lives.. Yes it is. It`s not nice to admit your sins or tell another person what you have done secretly or what is it really that you`re feeling inside that no one can see but God which is an iniquity.

I believe that I'm applying this verse in my life right now, confessing my faults that actually I was a stingy person, that even when I gave my personal things I didn`t have peace because I didn`t want to but through it all there is healing that I got from that because now I'm a changed person.

THE DEEPER PART

This is where it`s getting a little harder to confess.

I didn`t want anyone to have anything as mine, I wanted a certain thing to be mine only and I didn`t want to another person having the same thing as mine.. I would get annoyed when someone had the same thing as mine, didn`t care if it was my friend or whoever but if I saw that person numerous times a month maybe that was having the same thing as mine I was having a huge problem because I wanted it to belong to me ALONE… All of this is jealousy and envy well those two words are the same and nobody would know because it was something that was happening inside me.

It was like I'm in a competition with others in fact I was because whenever someone else close to me had something nice/clothes/shoes inside me I would feel like I need to up my game and that is COMPETITION.

We can deny all we want but I'm telling the truth of my past I faced, these things are hard to confess but God can see right through me/us.

Women! We face that, we`ve been going through that, and some are going through it but I'm here confessing on my behalf and yours too, I'm telling you that there is healing in this spiritual attack.. This is an attack and if we ignore  it we`re only destroying ourselves.

I really thank Jesus for the Holy Spirit of God that enables me to see my iniquities. It felt so terrible, I cried, I felt so guilty and I asked for forgiveness and God said to me I've forgiven you and I've healed you and I've changed you. He then said now confess your sins to all my daughters I'm using you as a vessel to help them.

This is not for the sake of publishing but this is my life my calling to empower women and to do that I realized I have to be transparent and open so that you can see that I AM NOT PERFECT but I'm perfected in Christ Jesus.

I want someone who relates to this to know and accept that jealousy, competition hatred, envy it is Iniquity and God hates it But God has every solution for every problem.

Confess! Accept it that it is sin and you`re failing to stop on your own and then leave it all to the Holy Spirit, He will help you. I assure you!!

[James 3:13-18 MSG]

 Do you want to be counted wise, to build a reputation for wisdom? Here’s what you do: Live well, live wisely, live humbly. It’s the way you live, not the way you talk, that counts. Mean-spirited ambition isn’t wisdom. Boasting that you are wise isn’t wisdom. Twisting the truth to make yourselves sound wise isn’t wisdom. It’s the furthest thing from wisdom—it’s animal cunning, devilish conniving. Whenever you’re trying to look better than others or get the better of others, things fall apart and everyone ends up at the others’ throats.

Real wisdom, God’s wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings, not hot one day and cold the next, not two-faced. You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor.

The word of God clearly states that where envying[Jealous] and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work so now we see that this is all evil. It is the works of the devil and we know that where there is no peace there is no God.

It`s time to get loosed from the bondage of jealousy & competition In JESUS NAME YOU ARE FREE because I am free from it and because the Holy Spirit of Christ that lives within me.

Women this is destroying us but please don`t let it get the Best of you because you will never be happy trying to beat someone else in everything good they do, it all the works of the devil.

Do Not Entertain him… Yes he will make you feel ashamed of confessing and speaking out, he has made me feel like that but I have overcome his power because I've confessed the terrible truth of my past iniquities.

I Have overcome the works of the devil In Jesus name with the Holy Spirit by my side SO CAN YOU!!!

WOMBEDMAN, IT`S TIME TO BE RENEWED AND FREED FROM THE BONDAGE OF JEALOUSY AND COMPETITION!!.